Thursday, November 6, 2008

Ravage Me: Rachel Maddow

Note: "Ravage Me" is a column I've created to help me categorize posts about people I admire and enjoy (and, from time to time, might daydream about having raunchy dirty sex with).


God. Rachel, you make the unsightly American flag look so damn good...mmmhmm!

I just finished spending a full hour watching video clips of and reading articles about Rachel Maddow. I'm at a point where I feel intense, severe desire to transcend science by jumping into my computer screen and asking (maybe forcing, if needed) Rachel to ravage my body.

She was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University, where she obtained a doctorate in political science. Her activism focused on HIV/AIDS and prison rights. She's probably the most well-known for her daily show, The Rachel Maddow Show.

And...I am such a fangirl.

I realize, for the most part, the general mass still only allows themselves to nod their heads in agreeance with and laugh at the jokes of white dykes. Ha, maybe I will live to the day to see a queer woman of colour in a similar public position as Maddow. I mean, Obama is now the President-elect of the United States, surely we will soon see a queer woman of colour of, at least, Maddow's caliber...right?

I know it's rather offensive to set a well-educated, white lesbian woman as the ideal against which queer women of colour should aspire to. I should probably be severely chastised for creating such a power dynamic, but really, I've got such the hots for her that I'm beyond senseless and anti-oppressive lecturing.

But really, we must all agree that Rachel is wittier, funnier and more articulate than North America's last really famous lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres (okay, there's also Lindsay Lohan, but let's not go there). Plus, let's not forget the fact that North American mass media loves to see gay people as comedians and not often as political commentators and analysts. The woman is sharp with her commentary; it's highly impressive.

Geeze, even her awful excuse of a haircut has somehow made its way to my heart, making it pump extra fast and extra hard upon the sight of the ungodly mane.

I'm sure there's something disgraceful about her, that someone will soon point out to me. I already know that she loves the Olympics and boasted about not being affected by anything she ate and drank while in Mexico in early 2006 (a day after which she fell ill. ha.), like Mexico is this infested, "other" place that she has triumphed over. I'm still unaffected by the rather disappointing "fun facts" about her. So please, do enlighten me as to save me from my own obsession.

But really now, Rachel, why spend all of your energy laying the smackdown on loser conservative talk heads when you can be laying the smackdown on me??? Actually, I'm not even quite sure what I even meant by that, but I think I was trying to go for "word-on-play sexy and witty."

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